I'm About To Break
by boopboopglee
Summary: Starting on the Plane ride home from Italy Bella begins hearing Edwards thoughts..., you guys can tell me if you want me to continue.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi Guys! Okay, well this story starts on the plane ride home from Italy after Bella and Alice saved Edward...lets see where it takes us!**

**I don't own this story. My name is Shannon not Stephenie. Smiles**

"Bella." Edward breathed. His arms were wrapped around my waist and i was in his lap. i did my best to keep my tears in my eyes on the plane, but every so often they would slip out and my breathing would hitch a bit. Like it did just now.

"Oh, Edward." i whispered as i put my head in my hands and shook. "I hate this dream, i dont want to wake up!"

"It isn't a dream, Bella. I am here with you, forever." 

"Don't say that, Edward." i croaked. It pained me at his ability to lie. I could believe anything he said if i looked into his eyes.

"But im here, forever." He whispered as he pulled one hand from my face and kissed my wrist. "Please don't cry, Bella." i crushed myself into him, like i had done so many times on this plane ride home.

"What happens when you get bored again?"

"I was never bored Bella, i needed to try to protect you."

"i dont want to talk about it now Edward. Can you please just hold me?" he did as i asked and i listened to his breathing. i clutched onto him with all my might. If i never let him go, he could never leave me again.

I felt myself slowly slipping to unconsiousness. How long had it been since i slept? i closed my eyes and breathed in Edward's heady scent. I knew he would be gone again and i wanted to get as much of his scent as i could get. i inhaled and tried to sleep but i heard edwards voice quietly in my ear. _Will she never trust me again? How could I hurt my baby in such a way?_

"What did you say, Edward?" i mumbled. i was almost asleep.

"I haven't said a word, sweetheart." Edward said. i looked up at him and saw his brow furrow. _Why does she think i am going to leave her?_

"Because you already have, Edward." i mumured.

"What?" He asked, his eyes looked suprised but his facial expression showed confusion.

"You wanted to know why i thought you were going to leave me again. So i said because you already did and who knows how long it will take before you become bored again."

"Bella" Edward began but i found myself looking at his beautiful features. i heard him speak but i couldnt respond. i slowly and cautiously brought my fingers to his face. I traced his cheekbones, his nose and chin, then his perfectly defined jaw. _I have missed this._ I heard Edward say, but i was looking straight at him and his lips never moved. Well, i will bring it up later. i gently brought my finger to his eyes and traced the sleepless bruises as he breathed slowly onto me. i brought my fingers down to his lips. i gently traced the satin skin that covered his perfect teeth. i traced them over and over before he gently kissed my finger tips. i skipped a breath. I wanted him to kiss my lips, but i knew that it would hurt me too much to fall into the kiss.

"I missed you, Edward." i whispered as i rested my head on his shoulder. He rubbed my back as i slowly drifted into sleep. He didn't speak but i heard his voice again. _I missed you. My heart is back, Bella. You are my angel. _

I slept through the remainder of the plane ride and only woke as we were landing in Phoenix.

I felt myself being lifted up and as i opened my eyes i realized Edward was carrying me.

"Please put me down, Edward. I can walk." I whispered. He stood still for a moment but then complied. No one talked as we drove to Forks, or as we pulled up to the Cullen's house.

"Bella" Carlisle asked quietly. "Do you want me to call Charlie and sort everything out?"

"Yes, please. Dr. Cullen that would be great!" I lazily stood from the can and slowly walked to the door.

"Bella" i heard Edward whisper. He was close to me because he knew i was tired and that i was likely to trip.

"Hmmm" i mumbled. I felt him picking me up but was too tired to argue. I felt a breeze then felt myself being laid down on cold leather. _Edward's couch._ I felt him put me down and begin to slip away.

"No" i cried as i pulled his arm to me.

"Bella?"

"Don't leave me, Edward. Please, i want to feel you next to me when i sleep. I've been alone for months, i need to have you next to me."

"I'm not going anywhere. Not ever." Edward whispered as he positioned me so we were both on our sides and faceing eachother while laying down on the couch. _I want to be next to you forever, Bella. I think impure thoughts of you, why can't i be a gentleman? _I heard his voice.

"Edward?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"I want you to be next to me forever. And i want you to be _with_ me forever. Don't think that you aren't a gentleman because you think certain thoughts about me. I think the same about you, especially while you were gone."

"How did you do that?" Edward asked.

"Do what?"

"Well, you said the answer to what i was thinking." He looked amused.

"I've been hearing you since the plane ride."

"You mean...when i wasn't talking?"

"Yes, i suppose so." i whispered as i closed my eyes.

"Bella!" Edward said loudly as he sat up. I pulled him back down and stroked his face as it was so close to mine. "Bella, you know what im thinking."

"No i dont." I whispered as i inhaled his scent. As i breathed out i heard him again. _Oh, her smell. It is so sensual._ I smiled.

"You heard me, didn't you." He whispered while he moved his head to kiss the palm of my hand.

"Yes, i did Edward." i whispered. He leaned in to kiss me and i felt him grow stiff as i pulled away.

"I'm sorry, Bella." He whispered.

"It isn't you're fault Edward. But this way it will hurt less."

"Hurt less?"

"Yes, if i dont kiss you, it might be easier when you leave again."

"I'm not going to leave again, Bella. Please believe me."

"I believe you." i whispered.

"No you don't. Please, look at me and tell me you believe me, Bella."

I opened my eyes to look into his. "Edward, i cant tell you that without lying."

"Please, try to believe me." He begged. It hurt me to know that i honestly dont think that i could. he leaned in again and i pulled away. he pushed forward and i felt my head hit the back of Edward's couch.

"Edward" i began but he cut me off.

"I am going to show you, Bella." Then his lips were on mine. It was more than just his kiss, it was his hands stroking my stomach and back gently as he moved his lips against mine. i felt his tounge slide across my lower lip and moaned. _That sound is music._ He thought. i let his tounge into my mouth and petted it as it danced around my own.

He broke the kiss so i could breathe, but i wasn't ready to stop kissing him. I took three deep breaths and whispered. "I'm not done with you yet." he smiled into my lips and i pushed my entire body up against his. He moved so that he was ontop of me. _Oh, you drive me crazy._

Edward moved to softly kiss my neck as i quietly moaned his name. He was trembling now.

"Bella, i can't." He said as he sat up and pulled himself as far away from me a possible on the couch. _Oh, you make me crazy._

"Edward, what?"

"I cant do this...i can't be with you. I thought that since i wasnt thirsty when i saw you, or even when i first kissed you but i cant."

"My blood is making you upset." i said glumly.

"No, im fine with your blood Bella." He struggled to shallow. "I can't...i can't make love to you. i thought i could but i can't. Im sorry."

"Why? If my blood isn't bothering you than why not?" i was so upset.

"I can't."

"Why?"

"Because i am afraid, Bella."

"Why?"

"Because if i look at you when you arent sheltered by your clothing..."He gulped but i heard his thoughts. _I can control my thirst for blood, but can't- i won't try. _"I don't know, i just cant."

"Please try." i couldnt believe i was asking him this!

"Bella, I-"

"No, you leave me for months and i am shattered, i save you because you think i am dead and even though you left me you cant live without me, then you say you can controll your thirst for my blood but just cant be with me? Are you kidding me?" I started to cry. "Am i ever going to be enough?"

"Bella-"

"No, i don't know what you want from me." i turned over so i wasnt facing him.

i heard him stand then i heard the ripping noise as cloth was shredded. i looked over my shoulder to see Edward standing, nose flaring, eyes wide and nervous, and his shirt in peices on the floor. "All i want from you is for you to love me forever, like i will love you."

"I do love you, but why dont you want to be with me?" i was crying still.

"Bella" he whispered as he sank to his knees on the floor. "i know this is the worst excuse ever but i..." _i can't believe im saying this!_ "I don't know what to do."

"What?"

"I don't know what i would do, i've never done any of this before." He was breathing heavily and i smiled at his beautiful face.

"I am sorry for pressing you Edward. Seeing you're face in reality is enough for me." i rubbed his cheek.

"Go to sleep, Bella."

"I love you, Edward."

"I love you...forever."

**Should i continue this? i dont know if it should be a one shot or if i should continue this...i will let you tell me though. **

**R&R!!!!!!!!!**


	2. Silence or Beats?

Yes, its been forever...and i am continuing...

**BEWARE: This story has twists and turns...some good some bad some **_**ugly!!!**_

**Reminder: OOC**

Okay, its been two weeks since saving edward. i must admit, his toughts were funny sometimes, like when he contemplated the reason that the food orange is named 'orange'...

Heres how it went.

Sitting at their kitchen table, the one that only i used, and i watched as Edward rolled an orange around the counter. _Are they really that uncreative? Its the color of the fruit, the fruit is the name of the color! Unimaginative people!_

"Are you really contemplating the reasoning behind the name orange?" I giggled. He looked up at me quickly. "Yes, you're busted."

_Hi, Bella...this is interesting. Would you like me to cut you an orange? _Edward smiled at me, knowing that i knew exactly what he thought.

I shook my head no and stood up, walking over to him.

"What's up?" He said as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I love you" I whispered.

"I love you too." He whispered back...

**NOW REMEMBER...THIS WAS TWO WEEKS AGO.**

**...NOW...**

Currently i am angry with edward...he will cross certain 'boundries' with me then abruptly stop. Im going insane!

"Ugh!" i groaned as he rolled off of me. We were kissing and he said he wanted to try, once we made it to his couch and he was over me kissing me, he chickened out...again, like every other time.

"Stop it Bella." Edward growled, he was mad that i was upset about this.

"Stop what? You stop everything." I stood up and grabbed my jacket. I looked at edward, these days he just watched me alot. i began to walk toward the door when i heard him growl a low growl from deep in his throat.

I walked over to him as i put my jacket on. I kneeled in front of him and looked him in the eye. He looked angry. "Im fine with you not doing this, but if this isnt going to happen, then stop telling me that you want to try." I kissed his lips tenderly.

I stood again and walked to the door. i turned to see him glaring at me.

"Come on Bella." He said angrily.

"Dont 'come on bella' me! If you dont want to do this then stop telling me you want to try only to back out. Stop teasing me." He made me so angry sometimes. I turned and walked out of his room and slowly walked down the staircases.

"Yeah, Bella just run away! Let's not handle the problem, let's just run away!" I heard Edward scream. It was so loud that a certificate in a frame on the wall beside the door fell to the ground.

I turned around to see him standing at the top of the stairs huffing and puffing as if he was actually having trouble breathing, when he doesnt even have to breathe.

"You've _got_ to be kidding me Edward!" i crossed my arms over my chest.

I saw a blur then he was infront of me. "What?" he growled.

"If anyone, you should know what its like to run away, Edward Cullen!" I turned to walk away but he pulled my arm, making me fly around and hurting my arm in the process.

"Dont you dare!" He growled. i looked at his eyes. _Black. Pitch Black._

"Let me go." I said quietly...he looked..._scary_! I listened for his thoughts.

"Why?" he said curtily, then tightened his grip on my wrist until i felt a small pop as my finger popped out of socket. i closed my eyes tightly.

"Because you're hurting me!" i opened my eyes and let the tears flow. Suddenly, his eyes were light again. He let my hand go and i cradled it to my chest. my hand was swelling, something was broken.

"Bella...i" He said as he tried to touch me. i retreated from his touch, fearing he would hurt me again.

"Please, just let me go...i'll call you i promise." i said quietly, i was still crying.

"Can i please drive you home?"

"I'll walk."

"Please, just let me drive you home." He asked quietly.

"Okay, drive fast."

As we were driving my hand hit the chair, i winced.

"Bella...I...I'm sorry." Edward said quietly. " I'm going to talk to Carlisle about it when he gets back from hunting. I'm just sorry, please forgive me."

I tried to read his thoughts...nothing.

"Edward, what happened back then?"

"I dont know!" He closed his eyes and slowed the car. He pulled it to the shoulder and parked.

"What's going on?" i asked looking out the window at the dark forest.

"Can you stay here for ten minutes? Here" he handed me the keys.

"Why?"

"I need food. It will take about ten minutes, i can smell some bear up the hill. Okay?" I nodded.

"Bella," he paused as he stepped out of the car. "If you want to leave, i will understand why the car isnt here when i get back okay? I...I love you. Please remember that." With that he closed the door and was gone.

"I love you too, Edward." i whispered. Just then there was a buzzing coming from the cup holder. Edward's cell phone.

i looked at the caller ID...Alice.

"Hello?" i asked as i picked up the phone.

"Did he hurt you, Bella? Are you okay? I'm so sorry, i didnt see it sooner!"

"I'm fine Alice, he is feeding now."

"Where are you?"

"im in the Volvo, he went into the woods, he smelled bear, and he is feeding."

"Bella..."

"Yes, alice?"

"How bad are you hurt?"

"I'm okay Alice, Its just my hand."

"Edward is..."

"he's what?" is edward alright? "Is he okay?"

"well, he...he's confused right now."

"is he alright, Alice? Tell me he's okay!"

"Bella, his emotions are intense right now, its weird...he _has_ to breathe now..."

"Is he okay?"

I heard Alice gulp. "Well bella, he was listening to you sleep...and he heard another heartbeat, he thought something was wrong with you so he listened more closely...and..."

"And...Alice, spit it out!"

"Bella, it was him making the noise...Bella, Edward... Edwards heartbeat is back..."

I dropped the phone. Edward's heartbeat is back? Is he...could he even come back to life? Just then he was at the drivers seat.

"i feel much better now, sorry about making you wait."

"Are you back now?"

He studied my face for a moment, then stroked my cheek.

"I'm back, Bella...sorry about the wait."

_he has no idea that i know! _i looked closely at his eyes...green.

"Welcome back." i smiled...he's wanted this!

"Can i drive you to the hospital please?" He asked looking at my hand.

"Yes."

and we were off...

**R&R PEOPLE!!! TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!!-**


	3. bumbump, bumbump

**I DONT OWN THIS!**

**(that night in bella's room)**

_Bum-Bump, bum-bump, bum-bump, bum-bump..._

It is currently 4am and i am laying next to edward. He seems _normal_ again, though the cast on my hand would like to differ. i can hear a heartbeat. Whether it is his or mine i cant be sure, but it sounds normal...and alive.

"You're still awake?" He whispered as he pulled a few strands of hair behind my ear.

"Yes." i whispered as i opened my eyes to meet his green-golden flecked eyes. I smirked. _So beautiful._

"What?" he cooed as he flashed a crooked smile.

"You're eyes are green, Edward. Tell me why." i stared at him waiting for a response.

"I assure you they are still gold, its probabaly just the lighting." He closed his eyes as if trying to change them with his mind.

"No, they are green. Look in the mirror." I stood up and turned the light on, then went for my light-mirror. "Look."

He closed his eyes before the mirror was infront of his face. "Put the mirror down, Bella, i dont want to see it."

"But..." i said as i let the mirror fall to the bed.

"No." he said as he opened his eyes. "Green, yes i know, weird. thats what everyone's been saying." He took the mirror and, without looking into it, slid it under my bed.

"But..."

"they'll be fine in the morning, it just needs to wear off a little. I'm sorry they're so...unnatural."

"But..." he began to cut me off, i wouldnt let him. "so beautiful."

"_What_?" his eyes grew big in shock.

"They are so beautiful, edward! were they that color when you were a boy?"

"um...yes, without the gold stripes...wait your not creeped out?"

"Of course not, quite attractive actually." i hiked my eyebrow and he flashed a crooked smile. He leaned over me to turn out the light and i kissed his cheek.

"Glad you like them." he whispered as he laid back down, i snuggled into his side and rested my head on his chest.

_Bum-bump, bum-bump, bum-bump. _I leaned up to ask him if he heard it too but he pulled my chin up and collided my lips with his. His kiss was forceful, as if he were trying to tell me something through the motions of his lips.

_bumbum bumbum bumbum bumbum bumbum! _ i pulled away and sat up.

"Whats wrong?" he asked his voice hoarse.

"What is that sound?" i turned to look around, nothing.

"What sound?" he asked sitting up to match my position.

"is my heartbeat really that loud?"

Edward's eyes became huge. _bumbumbumbumbumbumbumbumbum..._

"Edward?" No response, he just stared at the comforter. "Edward...its...its you, right?"

Nothing.

"Talk, edward i know its you." His eyes darted to meet mine.

_Scared._

vibrant green over took me and i reached my hand out to cradle his cheek.

"I...i dont know whats happening to me, Bella." he looked into my eyes, searching for an answer. i tapped his thoughts. _Have i scared her? Why hasnt she freaked out? Am i dying? Will she still love me?_

"I will always love you." I whispered as i kissed him. I was hit with images of edward and i, rolling and tumbling in my bed. Wearing nothing but eachother. _his thoughts!_

"Edward, thats a good idea." I whispered seductivly into his ear.

"Whats a good idea?"

"me wearing nothing but you, and us _wrestling_ in my bed."

"You saw that?" he laid his head on my shoulder, inhaling my smell.

"Yes, and i enjoyed the visual." I smelled an amazing smell, and felt a strange heat on my shoulder. "Edward?" He looked up.

"Oh...oh...oh my _god!" _i said quietly as i began to breathe heavier.

"What?"

"You're...beautiful!"

"What? Bella, whats wrong with me?" Edward was staring at me intently. Tears began to stream down my cheeks.

"Oh, Edward!"

"Tell me!" he looked scared.

"Edward, you're...blushing!"

He looked at his hand, then his wrist and we both watched as it turned from white to pink.

"I feel warm." He said quitely as he traced his veins with his finger.

"you have blood, edward. You're alive again." i was crying still.

"im scared though, Bella. Do you think i can still hurt you?"

"I dont know edward. But you smell _great._" I inhaled deeply as i leaned in to emphezize that he smelled good. He blushed again.

"Well, well, well. You sure do blush alot." i smiled as i touched his rosy pink cheek. he turned his head to kiss the palm of my hand. Involintarily i blushed aswell.

"I learn from the best." he whispered as he pulled me down to lay next to him. "Time for sleep, bella."

"Do you think you can sleep too?" i whispered.

"I dont know..." he said as he closed his eyes...

**R&R OR I WONT WRITE ANYMORE!**


	4. When the alarm clock is Catching Zzz's

**I dont own this!!!**

I woke up to the sound of thunder cracking through my window, turning to look at the clock it read 10:36. _I'M LATE FOR SCHOOL!_

I shot up in bed and looked around. _Edward never woke me up! _It was times like these where i wished that i had an alarm clock. I turned to look where edward should be...He was still there!

"Edward?" i whispered as i placed my hand on his chest. He 'mmm'ed a responce.

"Edward?" i said louder and watched as his eyes fluttered open.

"What happened? Whats wrong?" he said quickly as he sat up, meeting my position on the bed.

"Edward!" i was suddenly happy.. "You fell asleep didnt you?"

"No i didnt, i was just thinking about you and...and...and then you woke me up. Oh, shit! i was asleep." A big smile shot out across his face.

"Come on my human-vampire boyfriend, we are late for school." I said quirkily as i turned to get out of bed. He grabbed my hand.

"No, lets not go. How about we spend a day just...figuring out whats happening to me." Suddenly there was a small trace of fear in his eyes.

"Are you upset that you...can do all of these human things?" I grabbed his hand and put in in my lap.

"No, not at all, im just kinda freaked out because...because i really dont know whats happening." He looked at my hands entwined with his.

"Everything will be fine."

He looked up at me and smiled.

"Okay, well, i have to take a shower...so human moment?" He smirked then nodded.

"I'm going to run to my place, shower quickly then change okay? Ill be back before your'e done." I kissed his cheek but he turned his head to catch my lips with his.

_Bum-bump. Bum-bump. Bum-bump. Bum-bump. _

I kissed him back.

_Bumbumbumbumbumbumbumbumbumbumbum!!_

I pulled away from edward to find that we were both equally short of breath.

"Okay." He whispered as he got out of bed and quickly escaped through the window. Though i knew he was going at the same speed as always, i could watch his every movement with my eyes.

I walked into the shower and took off my clothes. I set the proper temperature and stepped in. About half way through conditioning i smelled something. I finished everything quickly and dressed in a blue tank top and a pair of dark blue skinny jeans. As i walked toward the door the smell became stronger...more...tempting.

I opened the bathroom door and the smell hit me in the face. I growled and turned to find the scent.

"Bella?" i heard edward yell, but i was on the hunt. "Bella no!" i felt myself being restrained by edward, oh how his smell was wonderful. But there was another smell that was also...tempting.

My throat burned and itched and i felt liquid enter my mouth. I wanted this smell, i needed this smell...to smell it, and _taste_ it.

"Bella?" I heard Angela Webber call from the front door. " Bella i skipped lunch to drop off some of your school work!"

I was growling and fighting with Edward. I pulled my casted hand out of his grasp and cracked it against his head. he shook his head and climbed ontop of me.

"Bella? Im leaving now...the books are behind the plant on your doorstep!" Angela yelled.

Edward was struggling to keep my in his grasp. "Bella, stop it!" he whispered in my ear. I pushed his chest and watched as he moved back, then jumped back ontop of me. Peices of white were flying everywhere...what it was, i wasnt quite sure of at the time.

Edward pushed his entire weight ontop of me. I struggled and twisted and turned, then i smelled edward. His smell was so amazing and...wonderful. I bit his shoulder playfully and watched as he purred.

Suddenly, as fast as the entire _fight_ was started...it was over and we were both breathing heavily. Edward got off of me and pushed his back up against the wall. i sat up and curled my knees into my chest.

"You're cast is gone, Bella."

"I know."

"It broke against my skull." he laughed.

"I dont need it anymore. It's healed." I wiggled my fingers at him. He cocked his eyebrow and smirked.

"Bella," Edward said quietly. I turned to look at him and watched as his green eyes grew wide.

"Bella..."

"What?"

"Your eyes!" i shot up and ran into the bathroom to gaze into the mirror. _Black._

"Edward!" i screamed as i fell to the ground. He caught me before i reached the floor.

"Bella, its okay." He whispered. He rubbed soft circles onto my back and held me as i cried. Suddenly red caught my eye.

"Edward, your shoulder is bleeding." He laughed shortly.

"I know..."

"What happened?" I put my hand on his shoulder. Yes, i was insanely thirsty but i knew i wouldnt hurt him, i loved him too much.

"You bit me." He smiled widely.

"Why are you so happy that i bit you?" I looked into his vibrant green eyes.

"Arousing i suppose...bad day to wear a white shirt though." He leaned in to kiss my collarbone once.

"Edward!"

"What, bella?"

"Youre bleeding! youre bleeding!" I pulled him into a tight hug.

"I know!" He bobbed his head. "Im bleeding! Im wounded, isnt this great?"

I giggled. "Edward." I kissed him passionatly.

About five minutes later edward pulled away suddenly.

"We have to get you food." He said as he pulled my into his arms and stood. Quickly he was down the stairs and out the door. Sun was shining and glittering across his marble skin.

"I thought that we were going to eat breakfast?" I giggled.

"Well, we are." i watched as my house slipped out of view and we approached the meadow. He set me down and i immediatly smelled a rich, sweet, beautiful smell. I turned around to see Edward watching me intently.

"Go get breakfast, ill be right behind you." I turned around and closed my eyes.

Growling as i was, my feet began to move. When i opened my eyes i pounced at a bear. I snapped my jaw into its muscular neck and drank. After two bears i was stuffed. I turned to see edward finishing off his third.

He saw me watching him, smiled and waved. He let the bear's still form drop and walked over to me.

"Bella" he whispered...I looked up at him through a new light. I continued to lick the remains of the bears red thick blood off of my fingers. "Bella, you're glittering and you're eyes are golden."

"Come here." i said as i entended my arms for him. I caught a glance of dancing diamonds shining off of _my_ skin. He picked me up and brought me to his house.

"Esme...is Carlisle home?"

"Yes, upstairs."

_**OFF TO TELL CARLISLE!!!**_

_**R&R!...IF I DONT GET A TON OF REVIEWS THEN THIS STORY IS DONE. **_


	5. Old Books and New Beginnings

**I DONT OWN THIS!**

**Reminder: IM USING AN OLD CRAPPY COMPUTER! Seriously, we got it when i was 6 for Christmas...**

**it doesnt have auto-grammer...so the 'i''s are not all going to be capitalized...i also have a funny fact...some of you might know this already...**

**the dot on the top of an 'i' is actually called a tittle...now think...you forget to dot your 'i' and someone goes..."Now you must tittle it!"...well it made me smile!**

"Carlisle?" Edward called as we entered Carlisle's office.

"Yes Edward?" Carlisle asked, lifting his head from his research book. "What's that smell?"

"What? What smell?...nevermind. Why do i have a heartbeat? Why is Bella drinking animal blood? What is going on?" Edward said quickly and loudly.

"I have been doing research on that very topic, dear Edward. I actually found an article from a book that was originally my grandfathers." Carlisle turned around and picked up the book. "It states that if you stop yourself from your most potent desire then you will become what you want to be...it is very unclear and there arent many facts to back it up, Edward."

"Edward? What have you stopped yourself from?" I asked as i plopped into one of Carlisle's armchairs.

"Um...nothing much. Just you...but only since you've become extremely persistent and..."

"Okay...we dont need to give your _father_ details okay?" edward smirked. "What do you really want to be?" I asked quizzically.

"Um...i dont know. With you? Well, i want to be real, i dont want to be able to hurt you and as a vampire the risk is great so, maybe i wanted to be a human, so i could be with you without the fear of hurting you... or the thirst." Edward looked at Carlisle.

"Okay, mabye it makes sense. Would you two like to take a look and discuss it?" Carlisle asked as he raised his head high and sniffed the air. "What in god's name is that smell?"

"Yeah, it smells...delicious!" I agreed. I sniffed the air and closed my eyes. Letting my senses take over, my back hunched and i pounced, upon opening my eyes i realized i was now straddling Edward to the ground. He smirked, waved then put his hands behind his head. "Oh, it's you." I said getting off.

"Well, im glad you seem so happy about it." He laughed as he stood up and brushed himself off.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked. I turned my head to look at him. "You just pounced Edward and he fell, do you realize that he is stronger than Emmet?"

"So?"

"You are a very strong half-vampire." Carlisle said as he walked out, shutting the door behind him.

"Well then..." I said as i sat down on the ground next to edward and looked at the ancient book.

"You pounced me, Bella." Edward stated proudly, unable to hide his smile.

"Yes, are you mad?" I asked.

"No, not at all." Edward turned to look at the book. _Quite arousing actually._

"Oh, really? I should pounce more often then."

Edward turned to look at me, a glimmer of humor in his eyes. "Stop reading my thoughts, Bella. You might find something you dont like."

"Like what?" i asked as i searched hit thoughts. As i was doing so Edward thought of Jasper and Alice...being a 'happily' married couple.

"Ah! No, EWWW!!! Fine, im done...why would you think that? Im telling Alice." I whined.

Edward laughed then we began reading through the ancient book.

45 minutes later

"Edward!" i called as i looked up from a book. We had gone through Carlisle's entire library and only found a few pages of useful information.

"Edward! Look!" He was sitting next to me in a flash. He skimmed the page and his mouth fell open.

"Bella..."

"I know!"

"Bella...Look at what it says here!"

He pointed to some very small writing. It said that apon the end of the two changes, the mortal will radiate with such light that the person will not survive. Leaving the other alone, which is why the cycle is never complete.

"Edward? How do we switch back?" I asked tears forming in my eyes.

"We don't, Bella. Besides, it said when the change was complete, implying that you become a vampire." He leaned in to whisper in my ear. "With no pain."

"Yeah, you become a human, then you die! This is terrible!" Tears streamed down my face. "I dont want this to happen! I want a 'redo'! "

"Bella, This is not bad, think of it this way...at this moment we are both half-vampire, half-human. We are currently the same." Edward smiled but i saw a tear at the brim of his eye.

"If it's so wonderful then why are you about to cry edward?" He pulled me into a hug. "This isnt happening. This is a nightmare!"

"Bella, we will be fine, i promise."

"No we won't! You can't leave again! And if you cant come back...and i cant die...i cant do it!...you...NO!" i slammed my fist into the wall, causing the wall to crack. "I will not be changed into a vampire if you arent with me! The reason i want to be a vampire is because you are too, and we can be with eachother for eternity."

"Bella, I am not worried." He pulled me into a hug. "Death is...part of _life._"

"But i cant live forever if your not at my side. Eternity is meaningless without you!"

"Bella..." Edward began as i stood up shaking me head.

"No! You will not tell me that this is okay, that everything will be well...it wont! Vampires live forever, humans dont! If you're human and i am a vampire and you die...NO! My forever ends when you arent in it anymore! This isnt happening!"

"Bella..." Edward said as he stood up too.

"No..." i walked out of the study quietly. On my way out i walked past Emmet.

"Hey Bella? Whats wrong?" Emmet asked.

"Ask the human." i growled as i continued to walk past him. On my way out i heard boulders crash...

INSIDE THE HOUSE

"Ummm...you're the human." Emmet said as he continued to walk up the stairs.

Just then edward flew down the stairs. Emmet stepped infront of him causing them to crash.

"Get out of my fucking way!" Edward screamed as he continued to run after Bella.

"Mom!" Emmet screamed. "Edward cursed, body checked me and was warm!"

"Okay, Honey. Go clean your room!" Esme screamed.

(i needed something close to comedy...sorry)

Back outside

"Bella wait!" Edward screamed.

I turned around quickly but felt a ripping pain in my chest.

"Edward!" i screamed. He flew to me and grabbed me as i fell to the ground.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

"Ouch!" i said quietly. I could hear it disappearing slowly.

The fading sound of a beating. Slower and quieter with every pump of blood.

"Bella..." Edward whispered.

"I'm fine..." I felt the blood freeze in my chest. Stabbing pains engulfed my body. "Ah! Owww!!" my eyes closed.

"Bella" Edward yelled. I felt warm water drops fall on me. _Edward's crying_.

"Edward." i said as the pain, as quickly as it was there, was gone.

"Are you alright?" He said as he stroked my hair and i wiped a tear away from his eye.

"I'm fine. I think im a full vampire though." I said as he pulled me into a hug.

"You do look alittle pale. You still smell like your blood though." He whispered.

"Edward." i whispered.

"mmmhmmm."

"How long do you think we have?"

"I dont know..."

"You're so nice and warm." i whispered into his shoulder.

He laughed.

"Edward."

"mmmhmmm?"

"You're glowing."

He hugged me tightly.

"I love you so much." i whispered.

"I love you too."

"And because i love you so much im not letting you die."

"You cant change it, Bella."

The light of him was so bright. Within 10 seconds he looked like the sun, and because he was so bright, i glistened.

"Bella? Edward?" I heard Carlisle yell. I turned to see the entire Cullen family trying to see into the light, trying to see what was going on.

"It just happens. Death is a part of life." Edward whispered.

"You wanna bet?" i whispered. I looked at Edward. His eyes were closed and his palms were facing up, yet i saw tears leaking from under his eyelids.

"Tell me when to stop." i said with as much authority i could muster...though i was shaking.

I kissed him on the lips, kissed along his jaw line then slowly kissed down his neck, waiting to feel a pulse.

I felt it and i plunged. My teeth sank into his neck and i waited to feel the venom seep out of my mouth. Once it did i let his blood seep into my mouth.

First it tasted clean then i tasted my venom in his blood. I released his neck and took his wrists, following pattern. I ripped his shirt and kissed where i heard his heart beat, then i bit.

"Bella" Edward whispered. I looked to see his face engulfed in pain.

_Bella, bite my neck again. _

I did as i was told and let go when he screamed in pain. Suddenly there was a booming noise and all of his light was gone.

"What's going on?" Carlisle yelled.

_Tell him i became human and you changed me._

"He was dying and Bella bit him to save his life." Alice chirped.

"Why didnt you tell any of us, Alice?" I yelled at her.

"I saw you bite him...everything was fine." She hummed.

"Let's get him inside." Emmet boomed.

...haha, i have a few more twists...

questions for you...

-should i end it here?

-if not i have an idea that is GOOD!!!

**R&R!!!**


	6. Slender Little Fire

**its been a while i know...im sorry.**

**here you go!**

three days of pain, three days of torture, three days of waiting for my edward to be _my _edward again.

i was on the edge, every scream he made, every scream i caused, brought me one step closer.

--------------3 Days Later---------------

"Bella?" Edward whispered

I ran over to the bed and held his hand. His eyes were black with hunger, his features warm with love.

"Hi." i whispered.

"I love you, Bella." Edward said as he pulled my mouth onto his.

We were inseperable, we were how we were supposed to be. Together, Immortal, in Love. Still, i was a virgin and he was too, but

living (or staying dead) through the battles weve overcome were enough let us know it would happen.

---------6 Weeks Later-----------

Edward, Jasper, Carlisle, Rosalie, Emmet and Esme were out hunting.

"Bella!" Alice screamed. She was infront of me in a flash with a look of pure horror on her face.

"Whats wrong?"

"I had a vision."

"Of what?"

"Edward..." she gulped. "He...he started glowing...like the sun."

"Thats impossible, Alice." Suddenly i was afraid that my legs would give out on me. I sat down on a kitchen chair and took ragged breaths.

"Thats what i thought, but it happened, in my vision i mean. And whats worse is that in my vision he had a watch on."

"So?"

"on the watch the date was today. and the time was 4:00. Thats 25 minutes from now."

"Oh shit!" i yelled as i darted out of the house and into my new black volvo. Alice was by my side.

We raced to Point Peter's, where the guys had said they were hunting.

I didnt bother parking, or even bringing the car to a complete stop, i jumped out and Alice threw her hand on the break to prevent us from hitting a cluster of trees.

"Edward!" i screamed. "Edward!" i screamed louder than i thought possible. The trees shook and it sounded like thunder. i ran like hell through the woods looking for them. I saw Emmet- no edward.

Jasper-no edward.

_Shit! Where are you Edward?_

"Bella?" i heard edward call. i raced to where i heard him. He was standing next to Alice, about 5 miles from the mouth of Point Peters.

"Edward! We need to fix this, we need to get everyone home, we dont have time!"

"Bella, wait what?"

"I cant explain!" i whailed. I tried to pull him with me, but we were both considered newborn vampires, and he was, as a man, stronger than me.

"What?" Edward asked, trying to comfort me, i kept pushing and pulling, he wasnt moving. It reminded me of Volterra.

"Bella stop." A voice called from behind me. I didnt stop.

"STOP!" the voice boomed. i looked at my watch, i only had 4 minutes.

"I cant stop!" i thundered as i turned around. There stood Marcus

"You!" i screamed as i ran up to him. "You are supposed to protect us! What is happening to us, huh?" he put his hand out, i didnt listen. "Dont tell me to stop, i cant stop! i have 4 minutes left! There is no time! Edward wont move!"

"Bella, just...dear...stop fussing." He commanded. I walked back to Edward.

"And you!" i pointed to Edward. "You cant leave! You have to listen! i only have" i looked at my watch "we only have one minute left!"

"One minute for what, Bella?"

"US!" i screamed. Just then Edward exploded into light.

"No!" i screamed. I fought the light and hugged him, i didnt know what else to do. i could feel heat radiating off of him, so warm, like the sun. "Please dont leave me! I love you, please dont leave me!"

Suddenly i felt myself heat up, looking at my hand i only saw light. I was glowing too.

"Dont let go, Bella." Edward whispered.

"Never."

Suddenly after what seemed like forever of edward and i holding eathother, the light shot out, exploding past us and into the sky, looking like we were beaming up into a UFO.

"Dont let go!" He screamed, i gripped him harder. Then, all the light was gone and edward and i were in pitch blackness.

"Where are we?" I asked. Looking up i could see the rim of sunlight being blocked out by the moon.

"Bella?" Alice called.

"Were alive...well you know what i mean." i called back. I continued to hug edward until the moon had moved past the sun, completing an _Eclipse._

As the light slowly eluminated the Earth i was able to see Edward again. He kissed my forehead lightly. We finally let go of eachothers embrace only to have a bundle of fabric roll into my arms.

"What is that?" Edward whispered. The fabric moved. I slowly opened it.

"Oh..." i said

"wow!" Edward said

"Awwwww!" Alice giggled.

There in our arms, was a small baby, wrapped in a bundle of golden cloth.

"How?" Edward asked looking at me.

"I dont..."i began. Marcus cut in.

"As i was trying to say before. You two were pure, and in love, and the gods granted you with the most beautiful form of love. A child.

"What should we name it?" Edward whispered.

"Well..." i looked at the baby, Slowly checking to see what it was. "Its a boy." i giggled.

"What should we name him?" Edward asked.

"Caelan Aiden."

"Why?" Alice chirped.

"Slender little fire. Because he made us so warm, right Edward?"

"Yes."

-----------------------

**TADA! **

**R&R!!!**

**does anyone want a sequel?**


	7. Take My Hand, Take My Life

OKAY GUYS!

SEQUEL TO I'M ABOUT TO BREAK HAS BEGUN.

It is titled 'Take My Hand, Take My Life'

There are two chapters up currently and once I get reviews I will

Continue. Edward is such a good daddy!

Always!

Fang-Is-Mysterious


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